Shocking Archaeology Discovery: Jesus Was A Girl!

JERUSALEM- A team of archaeologists discovered artifacts near the wall in Jerusalem's ancient City of David that not only shows evidence that Jesus actually existed, but that "he" was a female.

JERUSALEM- A team of archaeologists discovered artifacts near the wall in Jerusalem's ancient City of David that not only shows evidence that Jesus actually existed, but that "he" was a female. The amazing discoveries make it, not only the earliest known evidence for Jesus, but reveals that Jesus was actually a girl.

Carbon dating puts the artifacts at around 30 A.D. which makes this the earliest known evidence for an historical Jesus.

Zahi Mazar, the head of the Institute of Biblical Archaeology at the Shalem Center in Jerusalem and the leader of the dig, exclaimed, "We are amazed!," noting that a painting, a brass relief, and a cylinder object were found in the dig that is actually from a contemporary period, made during the life of Jesus. "It was something we did not plan on," Mazar said.

In describing the painting, Ephraim Balzar, a professor emeritus at Tel Aviv University, depicted the mural as, "Jesus with flowers in her hair, wearing a pearl necklace and a beaded anklet (ankle bracelet). And note Christ wearing the red lipstick." Also in the painting, "you can see a vertical ichthys that had a special meaning in ancient religions."

Ichthys is Greek for fish, and is represented by two intersecting arcs, commonly known today as the Christian Fish symbol. The Ichthys symbol was commonly depicted by pagans in a vertical fashion to represent the vagina, a symbol of the Great Mother' entrance to the womb. "You have to realize," Balzar said, "that the first Christians were pagans. And since they met and saw Jesus, they certainly would have known if she was a girl or not."

The painting also shows another woman, a worshiper or a secret lover, kneeling before the virgin Jesus about to pull a string that would open Christ's robe that would expose her naked body. This suggests that Jesus might have been a lesbian, but still a virgin because lesbians were not considered a threat to virginity.

The dirty little secret in Christian history is that Jesus has, many times, been shown as a woman. "This is no secret to the early Catholic priests," says Balzar. "In fact, Jesus as been reinterpreted as Mary, Christ's mother, to avoid the embarrassing consequences to Catholic congregations," said Balzar. "The virgin Mary is actually the virgin Jesus," claims Balzar, "and probably a lesbian."

Jesus throughout history has been depicted as a woman

Jesus has always been portrayed wearing a flowing gown and long hair. There is also a lot of Biblical evidence that Jesus was a girl. The Bible forbids men to wear long hair (1 Cor. 11:14). Mark 14:51-52 describes Jesus following a young man with linen cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold on him. Then he (she?) left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked. "This makes sense if Jesus was a woman," says Mazar, "but if he was a man, then this would make him a homosexual and I don't think very many Christians would want to go there."

Then there's the passage where Jesus commanded his disciples to carry nothing in their purse (Mark 6:8). Since only women carry purses, this might suggest that the disciples were women too or that Jesus wanted them to dress up like girls. Revelation 1:13 describes Jesus "clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle." A"girt" describes a type of bra and "paps" in Greek means female breasts and although men can wear girdles, it's usually women who wear them.

It is also a little known fact that the Pope's pointed hat is a representation of Christ's genitalia. "If you look at the Pope's Mitre, you'll observe that it is in the shape of a vagina. This is to honor the sacred opening," explained Balzar. "You won't get a priest to admit this, of course, because it is a long held secret, and they will deny it if you ask them about it."

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